JokeBreeze Pharmaceutical Company
Memo
To: All Pharmaceutical Sales Representatives
From: District Sales Manager
Re: Promotional Gifts
It has come to my attention that pens and other promotional trinkets that we have been leaving for physicians’ office staff are no longer having the desired effect. This is a serious problem, since our ability to penetrate the market depends on advertising. The last thing that we, as a drug company, want to see is the spread of Silly-Pen-Resistant Staff! Our Research and Development Departments are working feverishly on this serious advertising problem. We can't allow America's physicians to develop Sell-Mediated Immunity

The Doctor, The Famer and the H.M.O. executive die and are met at the Pearly gates of Heaven by St. Peter.
St. Peter tells the Doctor, "you took care of the sick and dying while on earth, you are welcome to enter Heaven".

St. Peter then speaks to the Farmer and tells him, "while on earth you nourished and fed the people, you are welcome to enter Heaven".

Then St. Peter looks over at the H.M.O. Executive and says, "you can come in for three days".

A hardworking female medical representative dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates and he says, "You've shown an outstanding aptitude for making business decisions. Choose whether you will go to heaven or to hell."
" I don't know!" she flounders.
" Tell you what," St. Peter says, "You can have 24 hours in heaven and 24 hours in hell. Then you have to decide where to spend eternity."
" Okay then," she says. "I'll start with heaven since I'm here already."
She goes in the pearly gates and makes some acquaintances. They have a nice walk among beautiful gardens. They have a nice quiet lunch. They have a nice stroll along a pristine, white, sandy beach looking out on brilliant blue ocean. At the end of the day she is shown to a nice room, and has a quiet meal on the balcony, looking out over the setting sun and the ocean. She marvels at the scenic beauty of heaven.
The next morning, St. Peter takes her to the fiery gates of hell and hands her off to Satan.
Satan takes her to a power breakfast given in her honor. Then she is escorted to a tennis club where she is greeted by her old boss, some co-workers, and previous business acquaintances. She plays a few sets of tennis and catches up on the gossip. At lunchtime her old boss takes her to a gourmet restaurant and she has an excellent meal with vintage wine.
After lunch he takes her to an exclusive golf course and they play 18 holes of golf. She runs into other business acquaintances and catches up on news and gossip.
After golf, he drops her at a spa where she is pampered and spoiled by beauty and body treatments. When she is finished at the spa, an acquaintance takes her shopping at designer stores. She picks out a fabulous evening gown, and Satan himself takes her to a huge party with drinking, dancing, gourmet food, and famous people.
At the end of the evening, a stretch limo drops her off at a five-star hotel. As she soaks in the Jacuzzi tub, and sips the complimentary champagne, she ponders eternity.
The next morning, she meets St. Peter at the pearly gates.
" Well, have you made your decision?" He asks.
" I've decided on hell," she announces.
" So be it." St Peter waves goodbye and she reappears before the fiery gates of hell.
Once inside she is teamed up with her old boss again, only this time everyone is wearing rags. They are filthy, diseased, malnourished, and living in a barren desert. They have to scrounge for food, water, clothing, even shade.
" What happened!?!" She exclaimed.
" Well," said her boss, "Yesterday you were a recruit. Today you are staff."

A big-time medical representative walked into a bar and sat down next to a drunk who was studying something in his hand. The medical representative leaned closer as the drunk held the object up to the light. "Well, it looks like plastic," the drunk said. Then rolled it around in his fingers and added, "and it feels like rubber."
Curious the medical representative asked, "What do you have there?"
The drunk shook his head. "Damned if I know. It looks like plastic and feels like rubber!"
The medical representative said, "Let me take a look." He examined it, rolled it between his fingers and said, "Yeah, you're right. It does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"
The drunk replied, "Out of my nose!"

The Chief Executive of an HMO died and was very relieved that he got into heaven.Of course, he had to check out after 48 hours...

Q: How many Executive VP's does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.

The Doctor, The Lawyer and the H.M.O. executive die and are met at the Pearly gates of Heaven by St. Peter.
St. Peter tells every one that there is a green button to measure the maximum liars of the world, you have to press the green button so that we measure u and the least liar will be let in.
The Doctor first touches the green button, "The alarm beeps for 5 hours and stops".
Next the lawyer touches the green button, “ The alarm beeps for 8 hours and stops”.
At last the H.M.O executive presses the green button, “ The alarm never stops its beeping”.

Annoyed St. Peter then pushes H.M.O executive to earth, and tells ‘ YOU BE THERE I CANT TOLERATE U HERE’.

Doctor : How long will you stay in this job?

Medical Rep: Until this drug gets expired.