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| Brave Patients Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable. Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you? Patient: I sure did. The bottle said "keep tightly closed." |
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| "Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed
a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor." |
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| A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My
wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" " Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. " No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" |
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| Three expectant mothers were sitting in the obstetrician's waiting room. Two of the ladies began to chat about their pregnancies, and their due dates and such. One of the women said to the other, "I happen to know that my baby is going to be a boy, because when my baby was conceived, my husband was on top." Replied the other woman, "Oh! That must mean that I'm going to have a girl, because when my baby was conceived, I was on top." The third woman suddenly burst noisily into tears. Concerned, the other two ladies turned to her and asked, "My heavens, what ever is wrong?" The third woman wailed tearfully, "I'm afraid that I may be having a puppy!" | ||||||
The difference between a neurotic and
a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic
knows the answer is 4, but it worries him. |
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Doctor: What is your problem? Patient: My insomnia is so bad, I can't even sleep on the job. |
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| SNAKE BITE
Johnny and Jim are walking through the desert. Suddenly, a snake
bites | ||||||
